splendid consort-=

was happy to so finally hear from you Lucius-= since you left to back home go buckets of baffling memories intensify around the origin of it-= when paths were crossed by Leda and me-= but your live eyed visit wide warms me special-= so glad and abashed of the veneration you say has encumbered the flock-= special seems your served us swell add-= let's keep the lid on the proceedings though-= eyebrows above the eyes and all that business-= if you know what i mean-=

to stay present bodies of licentious lapdogs lick lubriciously-= nosey troglodyte tribes and mis-conceptions mention that Leda shimmied the water of slash splash and panic-= see most people of the modern age have no time for it= i expire in 3 years-= a bullet through the head-= how quick gory and boring-= though i much prefer it to injection-=

you sent Leda's creepy crescendos pounding because you had mentioned laughs in the face of it-= even though i know such raucous buffoonery gives me the mind blow considerably-= desire and fulfilment explode with the infliction of thought pleasure-= it was an accident you know-= Leda miss Leda misappropriation screaming-= after we wipe smudged the last bloody remnants of the Hope Centre-= sent the faltering flock fumbling-= and had the rat bastard authorities nipping at our heels-= blistering bustle hustle we high tailed tantivy chablis considerably-= two figuratively fumbling fugitives fleeing Hope Centre-= drunkenly feeling frugally free-= or so smoothly at first i thought-= [of course you know the story-= but i'll here elaborate for your pellucid diaphony to see if you see clear with me]-=

now, when the blasts of creation implode on you nightly-= you get what they call the mind splatter severe-= convoluted conniption-= way beyond the mind blow considerably-= while i giggled in my languorously lounging leer-= Leda mused on the destruction-= ruminated on the gruesome legacy-= she let it fail her because her former conditioned self resisted-= where once she had pushed profligacy to its penultimate prodigiousness-= gave birth to the explosion of it-= and revealed delicious vile and lecherous debauchery-= Leda miss Leda miss algolagnia supreme-= had lost it-= she felt remorse for our vices-= couldn't let go of her venerable virtue-= she started shouting at me "Jurell!-= we must give ourselves up-= i can't live with this-= i don't want to be a fugitive-= i'm scared"-= so naturally i tried to abate her-= soothe her bristling skin-= i shouted "the brutal rituals were amatory sacrifices-= the harm these people underwent will be rewarded by -= our vice becomes their virtue"-= still, her whole body seethed with remorse-= Tartuffery tantalised her-= so i told her that "virtue is just another vice-= a vice makes one feel delicious and a virtue makes one feel morally superior-= virtue is abstinence vice is indulgence-= but by performing a virtuous act, isn't one indulging in virtuousness?"-=

i tried to convince her that "victims were not victims in the same sense that they think of them-= victims were objects which destroyed inner turmoil of -= the extinguishment of life without guilt speck or mote-= all is not what it seems-= knowledge is the residue of experience-= people are slippery lubricants made to slither away on their bellies and boom!-= what matters it-= pain or bliss-= no gain no loss-= there is no price for life-= it's free from all arbitrary restraints-= the endless cyclical circle draws circles around the playgrounds of the living-= what was now was then will be tomorrow today-= one life all life-= used abused reused anew-= people are no more than things to it-= another pebble on the pile-= inanimate-= ciphers-= what matters if it turns to dust?-= we are here to take-= and take we will"-=

we reside-= we hid-= we hide in a filthy warehouse wreck with rats and water and Leda flipped out and frothing and foaming and buggin on my ass-= she held her head her gun her essence her being her sanity on a shredded thread of chaos-= eyes bug like-= gawking gory gorgon and ferocious with serpentine veins burst bulging bulbous in her wrinkled cringing forehead-= she had the mind splatter severe-= and i loved it-= loved to see the frothing blister puss and boils routine-= she was a master thespian-= now delivered to the role of tragic figure-= out of control-= "i can't believe you killed my poor Aliester!-= she began shouting-= "Aliester!"-= no longer her own woman she erupted with an uncanny schizophrenia and chaotic malaise-= while laughing i replied " ah come on-= you know that compassion is nothing but the exercise of an illusionary superiority-= look, the sacrifices we performed were for the absolute of equilibrium-= you see how things are teetering right now?-= we need to stay together to please the tessellated circle of "Real it y" or togetherness-= or what ever you want to call it-= blood feeds the needs and pleases it-= because no matter want you do you can't escape it-= it does not punish it releases-= and if you and i don't stay together it doesn't matter-= i'm doing this for your own good-= now come on, let's get out of here"-=

but instead of chilling out-= instead of listening to me and finding a foothold in my teachings-= she pounced for me-= it was pathetic-= glibly i crack her one in knee cap-= bellowing-= " it is useless yet useful-= clarity takes emotion!-= i will not build my home with evil dreaders!-= it is the see all be all omne hall recall wall-= it is the home bone loan zone life foam chromosome!-= mind under matter-= dug deep-= well deep-= it is not a thing of shallow piety variety or hollow wallow guilt-= it is the venerable everything!-= the vulnerable everything!-= it gives not a judgement for any action known to man-= what was then was now will be tomorrow today-= it walks no dogma grieves no grievances scorns no orange nor forms no malice-= all the carnal desires scream out for blood!-= can't you see that?"-=

but all hysteria wallows-= dementia percolates-= frightened animals seethe wheeze cease with fear-= the shoot out at the not so ok corral-= lunging Leda goes for my throat-= i couldn't help but smirk with smugness-= imagine the audacity-= Leda miss, you know-= Leda she was a genius sure-= but fighter!-= so i side step her-= she tumbles past me-= and i give her a kick in the belly-= she just rolled there for a minute-= and so i stopped the shit-= you know it and all that-= and says-= "Leda, what is going down?-= come on baby we got to get this going-= i'm here your here-= why you wanna be doing this?-= let's make it-= were alright-= you're alright-= it's fine-= don't give up on me-= we gotta keep this going-= let's see it out-= please-= i know we can do this-= look-= just imagine-= if you can keep going we will become stronger and better off for it-= punching a hole through the wall of adversity can only make you stronger-= don't you understand-= that's what they want you to do-= to give up on it-= you have to listen to what is really going on-= peer through the grid of endless multiverses -= to see with fly eyes-= Leda-= it is all there is-= you and me together with it and through-= i beside you beside me-= a body within a body of bodies-= there is no reason why we can't do this-= just calm down and let's think about this-= i'm with you-= wether you are physically here or not-= or not"-=

but all of this was in vein because out comes her gun-= i see that she's serious-= so what can i do-= i had tried-= she blew her brains from her chin up through her skull-= her head erupted volcanic like a boil-= and in a slo-motion commotion Leda's body jerks backwards-= drops the gun-= collapses on the floor-= a crumpled bloody carcass-= the last of life's gurgles had no time to rattle-= over my head i heard helicopters swarm-= they had found me-= it was the last remembrance of a memory wiped clean-= or was it something else-= anyway i was in the hospital for a month and soared on wings-=

but, enough of that safety in the past business-= talked a bit of floundering session today-= found it difficult and some such to forecast my next appointment October 28-= seems a certain dr.Loller's "Realism" cure me toasty last week and i above grounded my self beyond all allowable limits-= suffering restraint complaints shackles fetters gyves and all that sado tawdry torture business-= roughed up for "Realism" gorging-= crispy sweet is how i like my meat�= NetWork says Creative Marketing of self it and grafts of Code Sell maintain the highest yields-= but it's awful nice to talk impenetrably-= he began in a sad tone-= picture yourself on a boat in a river-= [i mean the old style Huck Finn Tom Sawyer rafting river routine]-= picture the bliss blam of serenity-= ah how i feel it surging!-= it is good when all forecasting pleasure rides writhe wriggle with astonishing profligacy and lubricity-= all sex charge finger fuck suck muck pucker puss and filthy lust thrust-= it shows the way clear through to the lecherous urges and flagellations of pleasure-= it is a glimpse into the dark recesses of the human entity-= it destroys all grief of the weak sheet feet repeat leek meat heat beat seat-= fuck finger fuck and suck-= crime is the soul of it-= suffering is more certain than happiness-= death more real than life-= happiness with out tears-= nightmares without screams-= i expire in 3 years-= too much dopamine-= pleasure is all there is to live for-= i have snacks when i want them-= if you know what i mean-=

i am trying to find the spiritual roots i am giving you of our flock-= the Anabaptist sent has been going to cell 210-= from people to martyrdom-= horrifying but illuminating-= its conjugal visits reject our ancestry and their Lowland skills drain the swamps of this fertile but sparsely altruistic it-= failing to relieve the cleave belief-= book Gestalt more than half way down the pike-= the world will whirl curl the endless cyclical circle unfurl swirl to be a body in a bag in a pig shed-= Gestalt will tickle the untouched senses-= houses of bloody abattoir alters will spring up like locust-= common place will be the race chase-= by the grace of it my words say perception sight is true nature and some wizard with a laying on of the hands molested the flock-= see if your adds will communicate advanced orders-= to stay present Gestalt will be final before i expire-=

have you been enjoining flock in sermons?== many have their true manner consider everything good== and this can't be a good thing== remember your words encourage== this however is my doctrine== i will not build my home with evil dreaders-= keep the aspidistra floundering and flail itism where you may-= i have written new code standards called Men Of Balance-= i include it here and trust you to reiterate it to the flock-= it is a sermon of utmost importance-= a good beginning for those new to the flock-= read this speech with vehemence vigour and vitality-= you have my belief-=

the man of balance is a stern untouchable sardonic universe-= he is that sly calm shadowy human-= scaling the heights of the celestial sphere and parading his way through the endless cyclical circus-= the balanced human moves with clarity consciousness cunning and precision-= with perpetual symmetry he performs his duties relaxed, detached, aware and cunning-= is a human of prudence-= a godless human-= an indulgent human-= a shrewd belligerent beast of a human-= a mafficking trafficking cackling laughing king-= glibly marching his way through the muck and grime of existence-= willing to make sacrifices for worthy ends-= stern stoic and bold-= he does not teeter totter and tumble-= the balanced human keeps his body in a state of seething flaming flux-= his outer countenance a glistening stoical sangfroid calm-= swimming playfully in the disease-= expecting nothing-= ready for anything-= the man of balance keeps his eyes around the corner-= his head in your hat-= and his mind on the moment-=

any educated person knows that where there is control of emotion there is control of circumstance-= a tragic figure is never his own man-= therefore the man of balance is always in control-= when he speaks he is flamboyant but articulate-= never droll never common-= he responds with brevity, prudence and restraint-= he learns to wait-= he knows that first thought is not always best thought-= that first thoughts are often previously programmed from childhood-= the man of balance must immolate that wretched time of his life-= his child self is destroyed-= all previous programable pedantry obliterated-=

while the unbalanced savage goes about his life acting and reacting with all manner of whimsy and folderol-= the balanced man thinks before he reacts and eschews all unhealthy attitudes and responses-= the man of balance ponders and dissects his responses-= is honest with himself-= recognizes his short comings-= he lets the silence of his mind's thoughts run their course and then carefully chooses the appropriate outward response-=

the man of balance is a master of self analysis-= he builds his life with the skilled hands of a craftsmen-= never does he let the nefarious ego beguile him-= for the ego is the deception of unbalanced experience-= and the balanced man does not allow ingrained childhood habits [such as the ego] interfere with his servility-= the ego is a trick of the mind-= just as charity is an illusionary superiority-= when another man spews anathema the balanced man smiles to himself-= understanding that the vituperation and anger before him is merely the teetering of one's equilibrium-= the centred man thus allows scorn and ridicule to wash off him and feels clean in the face of adversity-= while the one vexed will spin all sorts of slander and propagation the balanced man either replies with one of his prudent choices or chooses not to reply at all- the power of silence engulfs all noise into a vacuum of futility-=

a true man of balance is constantly on guard-= but never defensive-= the man of balance has no interest in petty grievances or banal trivialities-= he keeps his mind sharp-= thinks of his present reading material-= theology mythology philosophy itism-= knowing that we only learn things other than it to affirm the true nature of it-= the man of balance is only interested in that which further fuels the "Information" hungry intellect-= when the man of balance feels frustration or stagnancy he rectifies it by immersing himself in a pursuit of knowledge that reassures him that his time here is neither wasted nor unworthy of its existence=

like any other human, at times the man of balance may feel confused and emotional-= after all some dances one cannot follow-= but with practise and experience he learns to access within a space of comfort, confidence, control, and centre-= he knows that the key to a positive outward appearance is to never expose his weaknesses-= publicly his strengths are always featured-= while privately the inner inferior emotional characteristics are coerced and immolated�= the man of balance rules not only his circumstances but his very being-= never however does he deny to himself the existence of a weakness-= denial of these imperfections is worse than using them-= if one is to conquer them he must acknowledge their pestilence and first sublimate then extirpate their inferior behavioural traits-=

weakness is despised-= strength is despised-= the man of balance wavers not between such concerns-= he wants for naught-= his wisdom is his balance-= he seeks to annihilate the need for a pivot in which to weigh his circumstances-= thinks not of a good or a bad or vile or evil-= only a balance-= strength-= magnanimity-= to make sacrifices for worthy ends-= these are not to be coveted but achieved-= one who covets is one who cannot see himself attain the covetous concern-= one does not need to covet it because one is it-= all it and nothing more-= clarity without emotion-= suffering with happiness-= the man of balance crosses both the fields and ranges equally-= he does not recognise differences, only balance and lack of balance-= he does not fear adversity-= in fact he welcomes it-= learns from it-= dissects the attack and uses it to his advantage-= he does not build his home with evil dreaders-=

the man of balance craves not respect or admiration-= those things are vain glorious poisons for the man in search of his centre-= the man of balance needs not the opinions of others-= for he has all of them already inside him-= he chooses them according to his fancy-= understands what response each action will bring-= he has knowledge of many things-= and it is only through intellect that man can achieve equilibrium-= bask in "Information" our friends-= forget what you know-= forget what you think you know-= the endless cyclical circle-= knowledge is the residue of experience-= what was then was now will be tomorrow today-= one cannot fly into ladders with rope-=

you have my belief-= oh my wonderful-=